Baby Talk

On Saturday, during Chris Messina's keynote, one of the organizers (me) asked one of the attendees (Ianiv) to take his baby (Aiden) out of the auditorium because Aiden was making noise. On Twitter, this has been called "Northern Voice Babygeddon," among other things.

Well, 140 characters isn't a lot of space to have a reasoned debate, so we thought we'd write about it here, to give our perspective on the wider issues as well as the specific situation.

Is Northern Voice child-friendly?

We try. It's a heck of a lot friendlier than most conferences. We always arrange for a childcare room (though it's not always well-used), we made a special mention that people should be aware when taking pictures of children at our conference, and we allow people to bring kids for free. We also run the conference Friday / Saturday so that those with kid-care during the week can come on Friday, and those who have child-care on the weekend can come Saturday.  In other words, we try really hard to be nice to folks with kids.

Could Northern Voice be child-friendlier?

Of course. We don't actually provide child care (for liability reasons and because of the time it takes to organize). And this year, disappointingly, the childcare room had to also be the registration room thanks to some fire regulations the new space had, which we only learned about on the day of the conference. Still, some parents did use the space, including Arieanna, and those kids had the added bonus of being under the watchful eye of those running the registration desk.

For parents of young children, we offered a quiet napping space in a nearby building. We appreciate that that was a sub-optimal option, but it was the best we could do this year.

Northern Voice doesn't market itself as being specifically for children and those who got 'em. But in the six years Northern Voice has been running, we've been more often praised than vilified for our child policies. The whole reason this debate came up was because Arieanna and Ianiv felt comfortable enough to bring Aiden in the first place.

As @CamCavers tweeted, "You know, I reject the idea that kids and adults need to be kept separate; that's an construct of the industrial age, we're past that."

We (and I) think kids can add to a conference.  We believe children are our future. Treat them well and ... OK, you get the picture.

We're Anti-Noise, Not Anti-Baby

OK, so why did we ask Ianiv to take Aiden out of the keynote?  For the same reason we'd ask someone talking on a cell-phone to leave: We're anti-noise, not anti-child. 

After it became clear that Aiden was making continuing to make noise that echoed through the whole atrium, and that he wasn't making a one-time burble, I walked over and told Ianiv that he needed to take Aiden out of the atrium. Ianiv tried to argue right there, but us talking would have been as disruptive as the baby's continued coos and caws, so I cut him off.  But after they stepped outside and got situated on a bench in the sun, I went outside to follow up and have a discussion with them.

Ianiv and Arieanna's three responses to me on Saturday, and they've repeated it since, have been: a) Aiden wasn't that loud, b) wasn't making noise for that long, and c) Ianiv and Arieanna wanted to hear the keynote.

They clearly think that Aiden ought to have been able to make some amount more noise and/or for some amount more time, before leaving or being asked to leave, and that's been the crux of the debate. It saddens me that it has since spiraled into more controversial topics about people with kids vs. people without, or whether Northern Voice should allow kids, or whether there was some sort of baby bias at play.

Look back at point c)...  they wanted to hear the keynote.  But everyone in that open space also wanted to hear the keynote. It's a large, open room with only hard surfaces, not a lecture hall with carpeting and multiple speaker sources; everyone needs to contribute to the silence in that situation because sounds carry.  The polite thing to do is to put yourself in the shoes of the other 300 people listening, and err on the side of being overly considerate, especially since sound quality was an well-discussed problem on Friday.

Plus, realize that we're recording the keynote and you can watch it later.  Heck, we were even streaming it -- they could have watched it from anywhere without disturbing anyone.

I'm happy that Aiden came to the conference and posed for some deliciously cute pictures, and I'm glad that Arieanna and Ianiv came this year, because they're long-time fixtures in the blogging community. I'm not even slightly upset that Aiden made some noise that disturbed people. That's what babies sometimes do, and Aiden is a happy little fella with a lot on his mind.

However, I wish they'd chosen to leave with Aiden before we asked them to leave, as Arieanna said she would have "if it got crazy". It's never a good feeling as an organizer to ask someone to leave, and even harder when you know them.

On the flip side, I know how awkward it feels when you're asked to leave some place.  I'm really sorry to have made them feel unwanted. We wanted them at the conference.

Arieanna and Ianiv, I'm sorry that I made your Saturday morning an unhappy one by asking you to leave the keynote. I hope we can agree now that we're really only disagreeing about how much noise is acceptable, that we were both trying to be reasonable, shake hands and lay this to rest.

(Updated to correct spelling.)